Random Hetalia Sims Silliness

By Captain Chaotica!!

PART TWO

Note: I did all this stuff BEFORE playing the "Become One With Russia" challenge. So if things seem a bit out of order, that's why.



We start this chapter mid-fire, which is of course the best way to start anything. I love how Italy is cowering away from the fire, all scared. Dear, cowardly Italy.
...wait. He's AWAY from the FIRE, rather than rushing straight towards it like the average moth idiot Sim.
Dear, smart Italy...



FIREMAN: Bye, China! (ignores everyone else)



GEE, America, I wonder why you're suddenly so fascinated by fire safety?



...WAIT wait wait America--you nearly burned down the entire kitchen, but the food that STARTED the fire is somehow still perfect? HOW DOES THAT WORK?
...I think we may have discovered his secret super-power. Well, besides being able to drag cars around with one hand.



Appropos of nothing, more evidence that EVERYBODY has the hots for France. Everybody.



PFFF (cracks up laughing) Oh, America. Don't ever change.



It wouldn't be Hetalia without at least one gratuitous fanservice scene, and so Japan is our random victim. Because he was the one bathing when I thought of it.



(spit-takes) Dude, what? Wait WHAT?! What about China? And Japan? And Italy? WHAT?
So, Germany, I take it you're like, over that whole...ya know...cutting your country in half...Berlin Wall...thing? Yes? Okay, your choice...
(Look at that evil expression on his face! I had to take this shot for that alone.)



SIMULTANEOUS BETRAYAL.



SIMULTANEOUS SLAPS! Seriously, they walked over there and smacked the two of them in. UNISON. It was exactly like a moment out of some goofy '60s romantic comedy!



Whoah ho HO...LOOK at those NUMBERS. It was 100, Best Friends, and a crush. Oh, he's hurt. He's hurt bad.
(But he's STILL BFF's with Russia! Omg, that's so sad... :()



...okay, why is everybody noticing that Germany is hot, all of a sudden? Were he and Russia really...enthusiastic, last night? (waggles eyebrows)



Italy is befuddled!
...in other news, the sky is up, water is wet and night is dark. Film at eleven.
(GERMANY: I HAVE PREPARED TASTY SNACKS. YOU VILL EAT ZEM!)



Japan apparently thinks that whole "living" thing is overrated, so he chases Russia around and keeps slapping him all day.
Meanwhile, what of Italy, the other person Germany sorta betrayed by sleeping with someone else? Why isn't he also upset? Oblivious as usual (which would be awesomely in-character), or...



...oh...kay then. That...answers that question. I'll just...leave you to it.
(I keep getting BLINDSIDED by these crack pairings--three in one play-session! So far.)



Dude, lookit this--three crushes! When the reserved ones finally cut loose, they do NOT kid around.



You know, this would be really adorable if you hadn't broken up two and a half much more INTERESTING couples in order to do this. Sigh.
Second time (autonomously) woo-hooing in the same day, incidentally. Dang.



Meanwhile, Figaro can sleep through ANYTHING. (He's in the same room...)



Britain would like to tell us all that he is very, very happy. :)



Japan, on the other hand...



Of COURSE he hit you back--he's freaking Germany! Where even the women's names have meanings like "warrior maiden"!
AUSTRIA and UKRAINE: (smile cluelessly)



...Watch out! China's about to go protective PAPA WOLF on your ass!



China: DON'T YOU BREAK MY SON'S HEART! (whap!)
...yeah, I kinda set Japan as China's kid. It seemed to make sense. "Raising" relationships got parent-child in Create-a-Sim, sibling-rivalry ones (where they actually call each other "brothers") were made siblings. This still leaves a BUNCH of pairings available, however. As we've seen!



Oh dear. This went on all. Day. Long. China just KEPT stalking after him, smacking him, cracking his knuckles while waiting for him to finish crying, then smacking him again! Eventually I put China to work making toys (he had a want for a bronze toy badge) just so Germany could finally eat in peace!
(You'd expect more fighting than crying, from a very grumpy, very physical Sim. But he's also shy--apparently that makes the difference.)

Hey, wanna know who's been behaving himself this entire time? FRANCE! The ROMANCE Sim! With the Lifetime Want to have 20 simultaneous lovers!



GAAAAAH who the hell gave her a weapon?! This might possibly be THE. Scariest. Sims picture I have ever taken. Even more so than my bitchy Batchelorette wielding an axe...in the dark. Doesn't it look like she's calculating exactly how far she can ram it up...someone? GAH.



RUSSIA: My sisters. They are getting along.
...The universe is broken.



Figaro! Don't you let those suspicious characters in!



YAY, promotion! But...wait. SHE?! I...forgot to check before choosing the name, didn't I...
Well...it wouldn't be ITALY'S cat without a little gender confusion!



Romano's closeup. If I do say so myself (remember, I made both my Italies from scratch), he turned out rather handsome.



And so, America falls in love directly BECAUSE of woo-hoo. Wow. I....guess Italians really are good at certain things. ;)
(Like my creative use of the bed-curtains as a natural censor? Heh.)



Ukraine's close-up--and she could NOT have picked a more in-character expression for it. BWAHAHA!



D'awwww. So out of character, but d'awww.



BELARUS: Yes, kitty, you will help me take over the world, won't you. Yeessss...
PRUSSIA: (stalk)
Incidentally, doesn't that vintage swimsuit, when combined with her old-fashioned-girl hair, SO make her look like a '40s pin-up? Sweet.



Meanwhile, Germany apparently misses his dogs so badly, he's decided to play fetch with the local werewolf. Either that, or he wanted to (further) prove his badassity.



You're a Romance Sim, you're supposed to BANG them, not fall in Twoo Wuv with them!
(Sweet Apollo on a flaming chariot, THREE bolts?! Where'd the third one come from all of a sudden?)



...I think this one speaks for itself. Hey, see those things right behind you? Those things that are currently EMPTY? Those way more comfy things?



Then Italy decided to shake his moneymaker RIGHT in France's face while telling a dirty joke...about a missile.
...Way. Too. Easy.
Oddly enough, even THIS didn't set France off, even though he's got three bolts for Italy. You feeling okay, Francis?



D'awww. Blondie love. I'm still kinda eh about this pairing, but Russia's getting Serious about it is sweet...Not Gonna Happen, but sweet.



FRANCE: That, is all kinds of hot.
...and in my way of actually playing pool.



Interestingly, he doesn't have the want to GET engaged. Just the fear of being rejected. Sense, the conflicted heart of a German in love has none.



BRITAIN: Hey, remember when Russia cheated on China with you? Like, yesterday?
CHINA: THANKS FOR BRINGING THAT UP, ASSHOLE.



ooOOoo. Someone's gettin' serious. And also seems to think he can leapfrog right over that whole pesky "engagement" step.



I just wanted to show you Austria's awesome outerwear, now that it's (technically) winter. Continue.



Well, nice to know SOMEbody appreciates Canada!
...of course, the fact that he's your current boytoy's twin brother makes it somewhat LESS nice...



BRITAIN: So, what are your thoughts on recycling?
EVERYBODY ELSE: (ignores)



No. Bad Germany. You cannot has the one and only married lady in this group. Bad.



GLOMP. Ah, I see the crack-pairing of Japan and Ukraine is coming along nicely.



And they fall in love over how much they can't stand Britain. :P



Yeah, they're uh...REALLY getting along now.



Ukraine falls in love...and promptly changes into her Christmasy outerwear. There IS a roof on this room, really.



More engagement wants...



And now America is getting poked by Vidcund. Why can't you guys ever look through the telescope at NIGHT, when it would be interesting?



...winter...



And now France wants to fall in love with China. WORST. ROMANCE SIM. EVER.



HAHAHAHA. Although this is in-character--he's willing to trudge half naked and barefoot through knee-deep snow for woo-hoo.
...unfortunately it's just Britain in there, as usual. If I had Try for Baby...Unmarried enabled on ACR, they'd have SO many little colonies by now.



As Germany prepares to become one with Russia yet AGAIN, Britain wanders into the room to pet the kitty.
...and no, that is NOT a euphemism for anything! ;)



A nice shot of Germany in his black tank top...because shut up, that's why.



Japan, a fluffy kitty, and Axis flags. What else do you need in life?



The absolute INSTANT I put a bar in, Belarus is the first one to go for the booze. Why am I not that surprised?



Poor Germany. He hasn't had a beer in...hours.
(I just barely got this--if anybody knows where I can find a beer that comes in a metal stein, lemme know and I'll take this version out and replace it.)
EDIT FROM LATER: Actually, after I accidentally wiped out everything and had to re-get all my custom stuff...I couldn't find even THIS beer again anywhere. If anybody knows where I can find a beer that is drinkable and comes in something other than a boring redneck Budweiser-style can, I will be very grateful.



VODKAAAAA! ;)
(I put in Smirnoff vodka as my default-replacement for the "juice" that comes with bars long before I got into Hetalia..and just now remembered that. Heh.)



And then Ukraine is the third to hit the vodka! Wow, the Soviets are stereotyping themselves. I don't even have to try anymore.



Being of a totally disciplined military mindset, Germany would of course work hard to keep himself in perfect fighting form, every day. And by "of course" he does it "every day", I naturally mean "I just now thought of it". :P



Oh HO ho ho ho ho...THERE'S our France! (evil grin)



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA no sooner do I even put the "French Garlic Snails" into my game, than somebody makes them. So natch, I have to take a screenshot of France eating them. It even comes with little French Flags on the custom plate ohmyGOD...(dies)
(The description for it at ModtheSims is even written completely in THE most "ouis ouis madame, sacre bleu!" Hollywood stereotype French accent EVER. So I knew I HAD to download it for my Hetalia Sims after reading the first line ALONE.)



BRITAIN: Oh, I say! What is this tomfoolery? This is just not cricket!
BWA. HA. HA. Yes, this would be why I didn't break up him and France earlier. I wanted Britain to have a little (hopefully male) colony--Sealand, of course!--and doing so with France would at least ensure the correct hair colour.



And he's...handing the baby off. Oh dear. I just wanted Sealand, and he went and had twins! Well at least that's twice the chance for one of them to be a boy, but what the freak am I gonna NAME the other one?! (scrambles)

Oh, but it's actually worse, dear reader. SO much worse.



AAAAAAAA!
Holy...Flying...CRAP. My first set of natural quads ever and it had to be with you? And I was averse to breeding the Hetalia Sims in the first place, and wanted to make just one exception!
(And at that want--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAno. Although, counting America and Canada, he is up to six--enough for the Marry Off Six Children lifetime want. Too bad he doesn't have THAT one.)

So, stuck for French-English combo names, I decided to riff off of Sealand instead and go with the theme of: Micronations! Two of which I only know about because of Hetalia.
In birth order, meet little:

Molossia (girl)
Ladonia (boy)
Sealand (THANK GOODNESS) (boy)
and Vatican (girl)

NO MORE COLONIES FOR YOU. EVER.



And that's where we'll leave off for now, dear viewers--on the brink of total chaos! Tune in next week--same Sim time, same Sim channel!