A "Become One With Russia" challenge attempt

By Captain Chaotica!!

PART TWO

~~When your arm's through the wall/And you don't care at all/That's amore...~~

Last time, Russia moved into a tiny ramshackle hut in the middle of the desert, met five nations, fended off wandering anime reviewers and DC villian sidekicks and flirted three of said nations into his home. Lithuania, Ancient Greece, Ukraine and Taiwan all became one with Russia (one of them in more ways than one), bringing the total number of housemates to 5. Whereupon Russia yoinked all their starting money to embiggen the shack into a proper house. Also Ukraine had a very, very bad-hair day.



Of ALL NATIONS, Russia, you are the one who should NOT be freaking out about snow! You're Russia! You know all about snow!
...having said that, this picture is absolutely adorable as all get-out. :)



Lithuania still rules your sorry ass, by the way.



Russia freaks the heck out of Spain with the infamous AIRPLANE DANCE I mean, Busts a Move.





Spain then attempts to bust a few moves of his own...



...and isn't that good at it.
(Heh, his arm censoring Russia in the background. :P)



Who the wolfwoman? YOU the wolfwoman!



Score! Thanks, Random Townie!



RUSSIA: You know, Lithuania, my true love? Harley Quinn is also really, really hot.
Geniuses, my Sims are not.



Keep it!



OH yeah! Money we can use.



Lithuania decides to EXPRESS the DEPTHS of his artistic SOUL! Now that we can finally afford easels.



HOLY HANNAH over one thousand simoleons a day, this soon? You rock, Taiwan!



"Roses? Barf."
Says the woman with flowers in her hair. And the second I have enough money for any landscaping at all, you insult it! Hmph.



Ukraine also continues to rule.



Lithuania's tortured, artistic soul is a Disney fan? Who knew!



RUSSIA: Spain. Become one with Russia?



SPAIN: Ick.



(a little later)
SPAIN: Okay I changed my mind.
And yay, Ancient Greece!



SPAIN: Computers make me ANGRY!



Oh, door-to-door sounds risky and annoying. Time-share!



WOOT!



Now that we can afford a computer...a-HA!



LITHUANIA: Call me! Even though you're standing right in front of me and we live in the same house!



RUSSIA! How COULD you?! Well, okay, the two of you do have three bolts and I do have ACR, but...



And they're in love.



Hoo boy. Watch out, Russia--there's a 99% chance of Baltic smackdown and it's comin' right at ya!



WHAP!



LITHUANIA: Well, off to work! La la la...
(snickers) You sure you got enough pieces of "flare" there, dude?



...I was determined that one day, Russia would schmooze somebody into the house WITHOUT romancing them...but when Italy did this on his own, I realised that that day? Was not today. So, all's fair in love and "international relations"!
(Russia is so blissed out, he doesn't even care that his arm is through a brick wall. Now THAT'S romance, dammit!)



Mutual crush, of course.



What else would you talk to Italy about? :)
(Okay, pasta...but "Food" isn't a "Tell Story" option. Heh.)



Spain...? Who's your phone-friend? Ooh--Finland! Too bad you can't invite people over.



Taiwan continues to rock your friggin' world.



ITALY: (swoon)
UKRAINE: Way to flirt, brother! WHOO!



Oh HEL-lo! Both Italies in one day!



And you too, Mother Egypt! (I have GOT to set her hairstyles properly for different outfits--amusing though this is.)



RUSSIA: Oooh! Sim-Goddess! I am very tired and stinky, can I stop this now?
No.



It didn't work, but after some more schmoozing, and by "schmoozing" I mean "making out"...
RUSSIA: Become one with Russia, Italy?



DA! And now Italy is the one waving at me and collapsing. Hee.



RUSSIA: Finally, I can take a bath and--
ME: Bath later. GET HIM!



Um. What?
I didn't even know you two liked each other! Wow, I...guess Italians really ARE good at certain things. (waggles eyebrows)
(Incidentally, last time I saw Romano, he was banging Ukraine's sister, and this is the FOURTH partner for Ukraine. Family Sim, my butt.)



Moving in Italy brings another bonus: KITTY! Meet Figaro. It wouldn't be Hetalia without random cats wandering around, and the show is sort of NAMED after Italy--so she's "his" kitty, and is named after an Italian opera character.
...it also wouldn't be Hetalia without a healthy dollop of gender confusion, which is why I accidentally TOTALLY ON PURPOSE named the female cat "Figaro." Yep.



RUSSIA: Finally, I can take my nice hot bath and--
ME: NO BATH FOR YOU! Fetch!
(Geez, when did this place turn into an international highway? Not that I'm complaining.)



Ignored, Britain and Mother Egypt decide to have a nice little chit-chat.
...on the floor of the exact room where Ukraine is trying to sleep.
...blocking the doorway.
Well, it's nice to see his social graces are as...graceful as ever.



A toast. To us!
I wasn't sure if this would raise the relationship points any, but the option was available, so hey!



(laughs) I love how Lithuania pelvic thrusts towards Germany while thinking about his hotness. Subtle, dude. Subtle.



Oh my. Isn't it romantic?



Of course he's good at music. He's freaking ITALY! Country that invented opera, as mentioned just a bit ago?



Dude, Taiwan! Paint all you want, I won't complain!



TAIWAN: Ooh, Russia is SO hot ohmygod when did we get that lantern? (easily distracted)



GERMANY: ...hold me?
Awww, he's just like...snuggling into his shoulder all vulnerable and (dies of cute).



"Really? You think so?"
I love how every time anything romantic is done to Germany, his reaction is just SO...Germany-ish. I can't put it into words, exactly, it just...is. Like...he seems genuinely startled, flattered and CLUELESS, all at once. So in other words, totally in-character.



RUSSIA: Germany. Become one with Russia? And I don't mean like that whole East-Germany, Berlin-Wall deal. A heh heh heh you know what forget I even brought that up.
(Yes, I know East Germany would've been Prussia but otherwise the joke doesn't work and HEY LOOK A DISTRACTION! (runs away))



It worked! It NEVER works on the first try! Dang.



Britain comes by again the next day and...WOW, dude, I seriously do NOT want to KNOW. (cracks up)



Lithuania STILL rocks your socks.



Well nobody asked YOU, Random Townie!



If only the World Wars had been settled this way...



IT'S CHRISTMAS! Because I say so.



Guard the stone! It can't be a good idea to leave it all alone.



Dangit! I messed up this one before, exactly the same way. But I STILL think deserting your post sounds like a bad idea.



Nice little civilized Christmas dinner. We're now up to eight people, seven of whom are uncontrolled--you'd never know, would you?



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA nice way to get back at Russia, Lithuania--not only cheat on him, but with his favourite sister! Also, smug post-woo-hoo expression + furry werewolf face = LOL FUNNIEST/CUTEST THING EVAR omg.



RUSSIA: I'm about to pass out but first: AAAANNNGGGSSST.



WHOAH! I hope you enjoyed your days of having a spleen free of pickaxe holes, Lithuania, because I think they're coming to a close.



(snorts) You hypocrite, Russia!



Welp, enough emotional turmoil. It's sleepytime!



Poor Lithuania just went insane! Oh dear. And yet he still wants to fall (back) in love with Russia. That's...rather sad, really.
(Ooh, first ISBI score? Mental Breakdowns: 1)



LITHUANIA: Eek eek eek ook ook!
I love how unfazed Britain looks in the background there.
BRITAIN: Eh. I see invisible people all the time.



I don't know what just happened, but apparently making BF's with Ancient Greece cheered him right the heck up.



And he and Ukraine bond over Italy's awesome piano playing. Hee.



Hot Mediterranean LUV! Who didn't see this one coming? Show of hands.
(crickets)
(tumbleweed)
Okay technically it should've been Romano and Spain, but close enough.



ANCIENT GREECE: (Valley Girl voice) Chess is HAAARRDD!
Hey, you chose to do this, I didn't make you.



WOLF whistle? Ha ha I see what you did there, ACR.



Um...for that you'd need to be one yourself first, dear.
(Wouldn't Werewolf-Germany be kind of awesome, though? And appropriate. Protector-spirit of the Black Forest!)



FIGARO! Bad kitty! You destroyed that entire big expensive bed that we won't be able to afford again for a while into nothing but a tiny pile of kindling and now there aren't enough sleeping-spaces to go around! BAD kitty!
...wait, HOW did you do that...?



SWOON.



And they fall in love over...agreeing about the awfulness of Germany's piano bombardment "playing". Well, whatever works for you.



GERMANY: I hate your guts and you smell funny! :)
This seems to be somewhat of a tradition among my Hetalia Sims--arguing while smiling. And no, not just the grumpy ones.



And Germany "becomes one" with Russia. Bomp chicka bow wow.



Oh. My. I didn't realise how...detailed that skintone was, until I turned the graphics up/started pausing to take screenshots.
I never slowed down to really look at the bed-makeout animations before. Don't they just look so HAPPY? :)



(cracks up at the timing) HE'S A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW, GAME!

...what.
Wait WHAT?!



GERMANY: I'm pregnant! (platinum)

...The reason I'm so surprised is I did NOT have "Allow Unmarried" toggled under the "Try for Baby" options, with ACR! (I was hoping to get some more actual nations into the house before the insane Breeding Season started.) And this isn't Risky Woo-Hoo either, 'cos that has its own message. So, basically, the Knowledge Sim (NOT the Family one!) not only knocked himself up on purpose, but did so AGAINST. PROGRAMMING.
(With the same-sex pregnancy hack I have, it's the person who initiates who gets pregnant, if that's going to happen. (Only if it IS a same-sex couple. With straight couples, it's still the girl no matter what.) Which means that the mother calls the shots and would probably be, in slash terms, the "top". So...yeah, this was Germany's idea.)

DAMN, Germany. I knew you were strong-willed, but...DAMN!



WILL the magical glitch-baby of amiable psycho Russia and badass warrior Germany end up taking over the world? (Of COURSE!) CAN Lithuania and Ukraine continue their love affair without random bloodshed? And will we ever find out WHAT awful things computers did to Spain in his mysterious past?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME--same Sim time, same Sim channel!



TOTAL NATIONS CONTACTED: 10
TOTAL NATIONS MOVED IN: 7