A "Become One With Russia" challenge attempt

By Captain Chaotica!!

PART FOUR

Look! Up in the sky! It's a flirt! It's a pervert! It's SUPERFRANCE!!

Last time, Taiwan lost more money than we actually had with a chance card, tried and failed to make babies with Russia several times, and got hit by lightning. Skill points and promotions were earned, Lithuania and Ukraine started on a little colony of their own, and oh yeah England and France and their FOUR TODDLERS. FOUR! moved in all at once. Germany gave birth to a baby girl named Berlin Ivanova, only to then get abducted--and impregnated again!--by aliens only hours afterwards. In other words, same old same old.



Okay, if you're QUITE done interrupting things by getting abducted, Germany--I mean, really!--we have some birthdays to get to? First up is the oldest quad, Molossia.



And POOF! Blue hourglass. Suck it, game.



Now Ladonia's turn...



LADONIA: OHMYGODWOW! (glees over nothing)



Another blue hourglass. Ha ha.



Meanwhile, this.



And now back to our wholesome kids' birthday party. Sealand! You're up next.



Heh, he may not have grown up into his proper outfit (because I don't have it towniefied)...but I'm amused that he did still grow up into something with stripes on. And my GOD he looks like Britain...



And he grew up the best of all! Hey, you know that popular Simmer-folklore belief that just as growing up badly can make a kid more bratty later on, growing up well can help prevent that? Spoiler alert: A HA HA HA HA HA HA right.



And finally Vatican. This time, her siblings are able to join in too.



An interesting looking (if extremely pale) kid and another blue hourglass. That's FOUR. Four blue hourglasses! Ah. Ah. Ah.



And they immediately have to BOLT out the door to school, which seems a little unfair as they were toddlers just a few minutes ago! Wow, Ladonia, where'd you get that outfit? A vintage store?



BRITAIN: Being a nation is hard work. Are you sure you're up to it? It's more than just picking a flag, you know.
VATICAN: ...I'm like, seven, Dad.
ITALY: (is way behind the curve, as usual)



I love how at least half the time, when Sims do the "kiss up arm" thing, they're actually kissing sleeve--and yet no-one seems to care. :P



BRITAIN: What's that, Flying Mint Bunny? Interesting, but I don't think the border guard will really buy that I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets, even if I do have the right accent. What do you think, Tinkerbell?
(Seriously, he got this mischeivous little sparkle in his eye as he started an oh-so-witty conversation...with a part of the room that contained NOBODY. Nobody at all.)



But enough of the crazies we already have, it's NORWAY! Come on in!



And while Russia tries again to get Mother Egypt on the phone, Lithuania entertains their guest himself. Again, MVP.



Italy is a goof.
...in other news, the sky is up, night is dark and water is wet. Film at 11.



Intense Spain is INTENSE.



And Russia is already using his infamous pickup line. While holding Norway's hand.
(Actually it looks more like his fingers are going straight THROUGH Norway's hand...)



RUSSIA: I am furious and heartbroken. (vague smile)
...actually that's so in-character, it's SCARY.



Are you about to slap him, or stomp on his foot?



WHAP. Yeah, how dare he sleep around on you with HIS HUSBAND. Seriously!
(I was hoping that France's natural...Franceness would eventually drop his and Britain's relationship low enough to where I could get them divorced. Unfortunately that didn't happen before they moved in here, and now that they're part of an ISBI challenge house, I can't control them to make them fight. Which would be a mean thing to do to Britain, who is a happily married Family Sim (and his SIM version doesn't know that he's "not supposed" to be in love with this guy!), but France not sleeping around is just...WRONG.)



RUSSIA: I HATE YOUR GUTS dayam, you fine...



Yes. We get it, Taiwan. You want one of these of your own.
No, you can't have that one.



So, she decides to try and DO something about that. I have...no idea why I took this picture from this angle.



The mating call of the Dork!
RUSSIA: So. Spatula?



Nope. Still no baby for you. But what does Germany, Russia's actually LOYAL mate and bearer of his child, think of this?



Apparently he doesn't care because it's SMUSTLE TIME! WHOOO!



BRITAIN: FUCK. THE WORLD.
LITHUANIA: What did I do?!



...I have no idea what this is, but that's gotta be one heck of an intellectual/geeky joke. Then again, that's Ladonia she's telling it to--the Internet "nation".



Wow, what the...lookit all those BOLTS!



Russia cheats on Germany by actually woo-hooing you, then he merely KISSES Germany and you freak the hell out. Hypocrite, much?



SLAP.
(UKRAINE AND LITHUANIA: (flirtflirtflirt)
(don't care))



TAIWAIN: Haha, there. That put you in your place.
(UKRAINE AND LITHUANIA: (still flirting)



TAIWAIN: But GOD you're hot.
(UKRAINE AND LITHUANIA: (still flirting)
(still don't care.))

...
My Sims have become a rom-com.



ooOOooh. Look how many wants he has about him! Apparently my game ships the hell out of this couple.



OHMYGOD THE TREE IS ON FIRE I MUST GET AS CLOSE TO IT AS POSSIBLE AAAAAA.



Confront them, France!



Dang. Could've been more expensive, though. I mean, it's a computer.



You know what? I'm starting to think Sims must be part moth.



Baltic baby! Again, ignore: Her name is really "Odessa Gervickas". Why Gervickas, rather than Laurinaitis? I joke-promised my mom that if I ended up with a Lithuanian baby, I would name it that. Why again? It's her maiden name. Hee! (No, that doesn't mean I'm part Lithuanian. It's her stepfather's name. I'm actually a British-Isles mongrel with a touch of Cherokee.)

I think I've more or less decided on the following naming scheme:

--First name will be after a city (not necessarily the capital) in the mother (child-bearer)'s country.
--Last name is A last name from the father's country, not necessarily the character's actual "human name". If a reference/pun can be made, that always trumps.



Odessa's closeup. As you can see, she's got Lithuania's freaky eyes.



MOLOSSIA: YES! Somebody smaller I can beat up!...I mean...yay, baby!
(Actually she's the only one out of the four who didn't inherit Britain's "nice" points.)



This game is called: "Let's see how many Sims we can fit in one bathroom!" (At one point--ten, but a few left before I snapped the picture.)
I was AMAZED they all managed to get back out on their own. Totally flabberghasted.



Go Ancient Greece! Still CRAPPY salary and hours, though.



Italy rocks too!



It's little Berlin Ivanova's birthday!



And she's...bald. Well, we can fix that. At least she has a head.



I kind of HAVE to get this for Germany's kids because of the description alone, ja?



MICRONATIONS!! :)
Yes, I had to bend the rules a bit to get them in the right looks and then make them pose, but :P to rules when there's cuteness to be had. From left to right:

--Molossia is a little cowgirl HEROINE! with glasses--because Molossia is a micronation in Nevada, hence, I figured she should resemble America a bit. And she does so in more ways than one...

--Ladonia, the Internet "nation", appropriately wearing a geeky Space Invaders t-shirt. He has glasses and hair with straight bangs like his containing-country (where the servers are located), Sweden.

--Sealand of course you know, but since I couldn't find a hat even close to his original one, I made him PIRATE Sealand! ARRRR, me matey!
...and this is inappropriate HOW, exactly? ;)

--And finally little Vatican, whom I made up my own look for. I gave her something conservative and Renaissance-y because she's (named after) a Catholic state in the middle of Rome, and a longer platinum braid to make it look like her hair had grown out.



Meanwhile, speaking of invaders from space...



OHMYGOD FIRE AAA. This is the first "real" one, ISBI-wise, because of course stupid tree fires don't count.
I love how Molossia is thinking about Sealand over there, as she cringes away. (laughs) He's not even allowed to TOUCH the stove yet, but somehow I wouldn't put it past him.



Oh hey! When we invited over Mother Egypt, she said "Can my friend come over too?" And her friend turned out to be...HELLO, HONG KONG!
...unfortunately Russia futzed around so much before coming to the door that Hong Kong left and we haven't made contact with him. Urgh.



...get used to this.



VATICAN: I'm in an invisible box! (mimes)



Taiwan and Berlin Ivanova take the silver in Baby-Tossing! Although you're a little late for Sochi, guys. ;)



Oh, thank you Ancient Greece. Now Russia doesn't have to do that.



RUSSIA: Mother Egypt. Become one with Russia?



Of course it doesn't work, so after he (metaphorically) busts out the Poison-Ivy style mind-control lipstick...





Welcome, Mother Egypt! As long as you're not actually a Gou'ald, we'll get along fine. And I'd like to extend a special welcome to your money.



Germany approves of the new bathroom stalls. Good. Now let's see if any of you idiots USE them.



Italian wedding soup! This IS a wedding, after all...and the show's called Hetalia!



GRAZIE! 2,000 simoleons, yay!



Heh. Double "YOO-HOO! I'M HOO-OOME!"



Why the hell not, random pretty green dude!



PFFF (dies laughing) THAT'S his date? Wally West, aka The Flash? Really?! :D



WALLY: So, you're one of those, whatchamacallem, anime characters, right? Cool. I'm from American comics, myself.
(Anybody reading this who knows the character...yes, he's wearing the KID Flash costume, but he's an adult. The adult Flash costume has a hood that completely covers the head and blanks out the eyes, which I find to be kinda creepy-lookin' for everyday use. So yeah.)



Then, after only a little chatting, Liet suddenly BOLTS for something so fast his feet leave the ground! (Wait, isn't super-speed more your date's schtick?) What is he heading for so urgently? Well...



REALLY. After knowing him for all of two seconds, he not only heads for the photobooth, but BOLTS over there at warp speed! Wow, horny much? I guess that's a compliment but GEEZ.

...there's just ooonnne eensy problem: Wally's not gay. Not even a little. So...barking up the wrong tree there, Liet. And Random Green Dude should've known better!



Naturally, Ukraine isn't happy about this. Nothing happened, but he sure tried...



Molossia is obsessed with ghosts. This isn't like her big brother America at all, no.



While Ladonia (appropriately, as the Internet nation), grabs the computer, it's Sealand vs. Molossia: Round Two. OY.



MOLOSSIA: Yeah, I kicked your scrawny British butt. Because I'm the HERO!
LADONIA: Go, sister! (pumps fist)
SEALAND: ...you do know we're all the same thing, right? 'Cos we're quads?



Meanwhile, Russia starts buttering up Switzerland into the house in his usual fashion. Awww. Look at Switzerland's happy face. :) You don't see him do THAT expression very often.



(dies laughing again) SUPERFRANCE, AWAY!
(He's on the custom "superhero" career track. Unfortunately it's not very well made, but it does have a wicked-sweet carpool and pays pretty well.)



Mother Egypt finds the newest flag HILARIOUS. For some reason.



RUSSIA: (romantic hug)
MOTHER EGYPT: (just "happens" to start jump-roping right behind them) Don't mind me, boys. Feel free to continue hugging, kissing and rubbing each other!
(Look at that expression--she is TOTALLY stalking them! She is!)



And now, following in his son's footsteps, Britain randomly beats up Ukraine. NO idea what brought this one on.



Sealand has a rare moment of getting along with one of his siblings as he goes outside to...fail to play catch with Ladonia.



And now Ukraine and Britain are enemies. Great. I still wish I knew what the hell.



He then kicks her butt AGAIN. Good grief, Britain, get a hobby.
...A DIFFERENT one.



Yeah, you go ahead and look all nice and peaceful there, dude. You're fooling no-one.



Yikes, what a vindictive little toddler! Well, I see her psychotic tendencies from Daddy Russia are showing up early...
(The only reason for this I can think of is that Wally helped Lithuania "cheat" on Ukraine, who is her aunt, but Wally DIDN'T help him cheat and why isn't she mad at Lithuania instead and oh I give up. )



And we end this update on an increasingly-rare note of competence as Spain gets promoted again! Hee. The Diagon Alley career track is such fun.



WILL Sealand and Molossia ever enter peace talks? IS Mother Egypt secretly an evil alien bent on conquering them all? And CAN Lithuania ever find superhero love?

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK--same Sim time, same Sim channel!

TOTAL NATIONS CONTACTED: 15. Bah, Hong Kong, running off like that.
TOTAL NATIONS MOVED IN: 11