A "Become One With Russia" challenge attempt

By Captain Chaotica!!

PART SEVENTEEN

Don't look at me, I'm just the cat.



KEPLER: Okay, so, you gotta really aim the dart at the target. Don't just fling it and like, wish for it to hit the bullseye.
CHERNOVTSY: I see...
(Lol I forgot Kepler had those Rainbow Socks of awesome as part of her PJ's. I want those!)



Now Lithuania and Ancient Greece are Best Friends! (Yeah, AFTER they procreated. I love ACR.) Best Friending all over the place, today! I approve.



This, however, I don't approve of. And...WHAT?! Is Chernovtsy Lee there seriously getting GAMING enthusiasm from watching the fight? REALLY? Is she like, betting on it?! Ohmygod, that's so hilarious. I had no idea the game could do that.
VENEZIANO: Is something going on out there? I hear noise...



Why can't you fighting idiots be like Ukraine, and sleep with everything in sight earn Body points bowling, instead?



No more MONkeys jum-ping on the bed! Lei Shen and Barcelona find the funnest thing in the entire house...destroying the furniture. Well, as long as neither one of you overheats, meh. (shrug)



GERMANY: Congrats on...um...what is that symbol again?
I dunno, at first I thought it had something to do with school? No...oh, yeah. It's a hobby-lot membership card, is what that is. Suddenly we had a rash of people congratulating others with that symbol all over the house, and it took me until like the fifth one to remember what the heck it was.



Meanwhile, back to the fight...seems like Chernovtsy won her bet (ha!) because, of course, Ladonia won. He's a NERD, and yet he won. Because Sealand still hasn't worked out that if he wants to win a fight, maybe he should get some body skill...?



RUSSIA: Oh Ludwig! That's French!



Oh yeah, Sealand is feeling real enthusiastic right now. Uh-huh.



And Saxony also bowls! Looks like someone took my advice.



HA! I never noticed, until now, that the game had dressed all three of these guys in the same colour. It's the Pink Boy Brigade! Manliest boy-band ever!



Um...Veneziano? You might want to try looking at all the food behind you? You know, before you fall into it.



Haha! The timing on this...somehow, I DON'T think you're gonna be so happy once you actually get here, Slovakia...



Even the music-lady stops to watch the fight! Geez.



I missed who actually won, but a quick memory check fixes that. Veneziano won, Sealand lost. Natch.



It's a meeting of the Jules Verne LARPing Society! I forgot that Norway is on the same career track as Britain, AND he brought a townie friend home...



Taiwan actually feeds one of the starving toddlers. Thank you.



Hi Music Lady. AGAIN. You, like, live here, right? I assume so, considering how often I see you. Let's see...blonde hair, fancy outfit...yep yep, seems Hetalian. What country were you again?



RUSSIA: Serbia. Become one with Russia?



Here's the hug...



...and YES! Wow, he's poor. I don't remember putting him in a household THAT broke, but I guess I did?



I look outside to see how the other guest, Slovakia, is doing and oh my! What an adorably romantic little scene. (I have no idea why, but "Moonlight Serenade" by Glenn Miller started playing in my head at this point. Because they're both kind of old-fashioned looking and were doing classy slow-dancing? I dunno. Not important, but I thought you, the reader, should also have the correct "soundtrack" in your head for this picture. :P)



HOLY FUCK three bolts?! Well, I guess that explains why they moved so fast...



I don't have enough time to train all those toddlers in one day without maxmotiving everybody (more than once), and I really can't give a damn at this point. NO MORE TODDLERS! FINALLY! NO MORE TODDLERS!
Sure, new babies could still be born, but...the Try for Baby dialog box isn't even appearing anymore...



(dies laughing) Um...you sure you don't want to take off your diving helmet, Britain? No? Okay...
ROME: (in background) ARRR, me matey!
Well, I guess we know which side he supports in the Aarbyville/Tredony war in MY game! ;)



GERMANY: I have been promoted. Yay.
...Internet movie critic? Ooh, does that mean he can join That Guy With the Glasses Channel Awesome? I watch Internet movie critics take dumb movies apart all the time...



Of COURSE he saves the day. Duh. He's Super-France!



Whoops. Well, at least he didn't get fired.



Really, Saxony? Glad SOMEbody's having a good week, around here.



FIGARO: Greetings, fellow furry-being with an awesome name. Allow me to welcome you to the neighborhood.
(Seriously, who does the cat immediately run over to? Not any of the OTHER random townies, oh no. The one with the raccoon fur. (laugh))
Also, Neptune. NEPTUNE. I'm'a have to get him into one of my families just for that name alone.



Some of the kids who didn't finish their homework earlier actually go back to it later in the weekend (gasp!) and we get a nice look at Sealand's profile here.



ARGH. How are you even fighting in there, those bathrooms are tiny!



And now the Baltics are flirting with each other. Whatever.



AWWWWWWW (melts into a puddle) Adorable...curious...kitty...
My own kitty goes around doing that curious-kitten head tilt thing all the time. ALL THE TIME! And he's even got similar markings, too. :)



How can Lithuania be using vacation days, he was fi--
...er, demoted? That chance card totally said he was fired, from that job he was almost to the top of! I have no idea what's going on, but, I'll take it! His getting "fired" was one of the saddest things that happened, last time I played.



BRITAIN: I guess you're not complete scum. enemies



...this was the very next thing that happened. The very. Next. Thing.



Aaaand they're enemies again! Wow, THAT was a short-lived truce.



People standing in the roses to play catch, old-fashioned divers, and kids doing their homework in complete darkness. Nothing to see here!



LIECHTENSTEIN: An entire new kitchen seems to have formed around me. Huh.
I figured out something to do with the space where the big bathroom used to be. :)



Italy needs a new job so he becomes a...dance star? Okay!
(That must be fairly high up the track--look at the salary.)



Speaking of leaping about and excercising, I was tired of Russia's scarf slicing right THROUGH his fat tummy. Time to get rid of that!



And yay! he's regular-size again. Good. (He was already right on the border, anyway.)



SAXONY: Patience, my loyal subjects! The time for us to rise is near at hand!
...seriously, what IS it with Germany's family and getting along with werewolves? (laughs)



LEI SHEN: WHEEEEE!
The furniture continues to be the funnest stuff in the house.



Okay, it's official--all of Germany's kids like bowling. Except Kepler, maybe.



FRANCE: Fitness is fun! As long as you don't work up too much of a sweat, of course. I prefer to leave that to...l'amour.
RANDOM TOWNIE: I have to leave.
...you were still here? Seriously, it's like, 3:00 am. You were still here?



Do the Funky Chicken!



Um...yes?



Okay?
Well, she didn't lose her job, at least...



ROME: Hey, France! Did you know that the word "romance" comes from my name? The Romance Languages--descended from Roman! Which means I'M the best at romance of all!
FRANCE: Really? How intriguing. We simply must discuss this further. Over breakfast. In the hot-tub.



(dies laughing) OH my god...thank goodness for Neat Sims! All three of them are cleaning at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME. Not a single one is running water for a bath, no, they're all cleaning. In unison. Ha...!



Awww. Sure, he was kissing Italy instead earlier, but awww.



Hannover: I am awesome! (does two somersaults that I utterly failed to capture)
No, Odessa over there is awesome. She actually DID something about one of the starving toddlers Russia couldn't possibly get to all of in time; you didn't.



CHANG'E: I am uncomfortable!
After sleeping standing up on the porch all night? Ya don't say!



...okay...I figured probably Slovakia would be your first, Liechtenstein, but whatever.
(must...resist...stupid...milkshake...song...)



Awww. I love this pose. It looks like something from an old-timey movie.



But enough with the sentimental romance--SEXYTIME!



Sure, Denmark! Not sure why you want to talk to him, but hey.



RUSSIA: Slovakia. Become one with Russia?



Hug...



...and holy fuck it worked! That's two nations moved in--without romancing them--in two days! My god the Cool Shades work. COOL SHADES FOREVER!!
And the fact that you have to be in Gold aspiration to use them properly won't be a problem--Russia's real close to going perma-plat from the Lifetime Aspiration bar alone. After that I can have him use all the aspiration rewards I want without worrying about it, ever again. BWAHAHA!



Sealand decides to raise his body points the same way his sister did. You're a bit late, but nice idea.



Memphis is creative! I wish I could better see what the heck she's painting, but I had to turn the textures down.



And we learn Sealand's OTH. Yay.

Then, suddenly rG4RQ8FQJuUuih9O6QhfDrqIOh7qCa0hrPEpYsJHO1YPZTAKM4pu5sBeba4RdYmH1ABYe
buzzzzzzzzzzz



We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

Only don't, because the technical difficulties in question...were the crashing of my old computer and the complete loss of all my Sims files! I'm just lucky my notes and pictures survived.
But, we did come close to an ending of sorts, and that ending would've been...(drumroll, please):

The house was almost full! That's right, even with the hack, you can still get "only" 50 Sims in the house at once...and when I finished this last session, I think it was up to...44?
And the real kicker?

Russia was still 9 days away from even BECOMING AN ELDER!!

Yes, that's right, that's how godsdamned faster it is to get people in by romance instead of platonic means. He was not only nowhere near dying. He wasn't even to the elder stage yet.
So, the ending we would've gotten, and pretty soon, too, was that the house would completely fill long before Russia died. Can't make any more nations become one with you, game over. Count up your chips and leave the table.

Sure, I could've done stuff such as move out all the teenagers to college (aaaaaah!! nooooooo! soooooo....BORING....! :() but if I had, I wouldn't have been able to document it as part of the main story, as Russia would not have been there. I seriously considered it, for a while, with Berlin being the one controlled character and all the others going ISBI (as Russia's oldest, she would represent him away from the household) but ultimately decided no. This is what we ended up with. This many nations, and this many kids.

SO! Enough of that, time for...



Stats!

(This is the short version, and only the stats I felt like keeping track of. Not to be used for score-keeping purposes. Void where prohibited.)

MOST PROMOTED SIM: Lithuania, with 8! Congrats!
MOST SKILLED NATION: Tie between Lithuania and Ancient Greece, with 5 (screencapped) skill points each.
MOST SKILLED OFFSPRING: Molossia--5 body points from her crazy all-night training montage.
CRAZIEST SIM: Switzerland, with 2 breakdowns.
MOST CONTENTIOUS SIM: Sealand, obvi-freakin'-ously.
BIGGEST WINNER: Molossia, with 6 (documented) victories.
BIGGEST LOSER: Sealand again, with 8 defeats.
GOOD BIRTHDAYS: 20
BAD BIRTHDAYS: 5 (Not a shabby ratio, considering.)
FIRES: 1. That can't be right. ONE? Did I miss a couple?
ALIEN ABDUCTIONS: 3

And now, the stat everyone's been waiting for...PAIRINGS!

BIGGEST SLUT: Lithuania, with 6 different partners.
SECOND BIGGEST: Russia and Taiwan, both with 5.
MOST LOYAL SIM: Germany. Far and away.



And of course, the only IMPORTANT stat...

NATIONS MOVED IN: 22 Everybody else was offspring (and Russia himself, equally 23 nations altogether). Man my Sims can breed!

And that's it for now! If you'd like to see more detailed stats (who had which stats, who all slept with whom, etc.) click HERE.

Keep your hand on your vodka bottle and keep reaching for the stars!